Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Kim Jong Il says "MORE COWBELL"

From the "You CAN'T make this shit up" department comes this gem from the KCNA (North Korean News). Go about halfway down for the line that will make all SNL viewers explode:

New Symphonies Created
Pyongyang, March 16 (KCNA) -- New symphonies have recently been created by the State Symphony Orchestra of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Orchestral pieces "Cantata to Marshal Kim Il Sung" and "Reach for Ultramodern Science," symphonic poem "For My Only Motherland" and other numbers are of high ideological and artistic value.

In particular "Reach for Ultramodern Science," reflecting the spirit of the times, gives a representation of the Korean people pushing ahead with the building of a thriving nation.

Orchestral piece "The Sound of the Cowbell", unique in composition, rich in colors and different in means of performance, reminds the audience of vast, affluent fields.

Orchestral music "'My Home Village', Selection of Korean Famous Songs" makes a deep impression on the audience for its significant theme and for the large scale, rich sound and diversified colors of the performance.

Also included in the new program of the orchestra are string quartet "Father's Best Wishes", violin ensemble "Let's Drink a Toast" and other instrumental pieces and foreign music.

Copyright (C) KOREA NEWS SERVICE(KNS) All Rights Reserved.

Yeah, don't want to step on the Commies intellectual rights. I'd actually be interested to hear some of these to see if they sound any good or if they are just ripping off western composers (like, who in N. Korea would know, and could they say HOW they know without being arrested for that illegal satellite dish).
But "Reach for Ultramodern Science" sounds like a Les Baxter song. A song with that title needs to use a theramin.

Why do I think this email is a scammer?

Recieved by my yahoo email account. Maybe I should have some fun with him.



We believe this notification met you in a very good present state of mind and health. The Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington,D.C in conjunction with some other relevant Investigations Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction going on with the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE as regard to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly.

It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with you as well as your correspondence at all level.

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the British GOVERNMENT AND DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE, in the person of The Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Sir Paul Stephenson along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your ATM card and they told me that the total sum in the ATM card is $10,650,000.00 (Ten Million, Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars) and they told me that the only thing that is holding your ATM card is the shippment fee ($220) . They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE.

We were also made to understand that a lady by the name Mrs. Joan C.Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million united states dollars),but the Barclays Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on hearing from you personally before they go ahead on wiring your fund to the Banking information which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that is the main reason why they contacted us so as to assist them in making the investigations.

We were further informed that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from Barclays Bank, to be very careful prior to this irregularities so that they don't fall victim to this ugly circumstance. And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE, you are further advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact Immediately the real office of the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE

We advice you to send the sum of $220 to tham so that they can ship you ATM card to you with out any delay and also you have to send to them your information that you want him to ship your ATM card to. Find below his contact address that you will contact and send the sum of $220 to them at once.

15th/16th New Scotland Yard,Broadway,London,SW1H 0BG,UNITED KINGDOM
Email : huston.swiftcent@live.co.uk
Cell : +447956337992


In your best interest, any message that doesn't come from the above email address should not be replied to and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE immediately with the above email address and request that they attend to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you receive your ATM card.

To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and authenticate the information below for certainty and onward processing and release of your ATM card as we will not be held liable for any wrong payment.


Ensure you follow all their procedures as required by them as that will further help hasten up the whole procedures as regard to the cliam of your ATM card. Also have in mind that the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms, so delay could be very dangerous. Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above email address and make sure you forward to them the sum of $220 for the shippment only. all the necessary information which they may require from you prior to the release of your ATM card to you accordingly.

All modalities has already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don't have anything to worry about.

All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the DIRECTORS FOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS AND SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTRE. Without wasting much time, we will want you to contact them immediately with the above email address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.

Should in case you need any more information in regard to this notification, feel free to get back to us so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your ATM as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,

Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.